youre lurking in front of me
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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