It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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