You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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