I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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