I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
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