I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
