Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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