Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
