Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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