I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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