Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
