Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
