Christians are straight up FREAKS
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
