I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Randomize
