Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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