she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
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