i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
