that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
