Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
