all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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