If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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