Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
