Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
why is half of my head shaved?
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
