meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
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