Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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