Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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