then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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