He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Randomize
