scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
