benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
