I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Randomize
