conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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