babies were throwing up all over the place
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
