Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
