swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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