If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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