why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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