dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
