she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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