take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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