Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
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