Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
