do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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