I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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