YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
