Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
