I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
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