Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
