His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
