the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
